Sometimes being brave means doing not only the hard thing, but also the complete opposite of what your proud self wants to do. It’s another equation like authenticity. Something like humility + bravery = courage.
Because in order to do the right thing, you have to get out of your own way, pushing past comfort and do the thing.
I recently had one of these super unfun, humbling but crucial moments.
I inadvertently had royally pissed off a coworker, and she called me out on it in front of my team in a way that made me feel very embarrassed.
Although I had been completely clueless that my actions had this effect on her. I realized something very important as I choked back angry tears – They were my actions.
I’ve seen a lot of people confronted for their behaviors, and the excuse I hear from many of them is, “it’s not my fault” or “that’s just the way I am.” But in that moment I realized that even though it had been unintentional, I needed to own my actions and apologize to her.
Even though it sucked, (and I mean like it was the last thing on this earth I wanted to do!) the next chance I had to speak with her, I just spit it out and told her I was sorry. And to my surprise instead of ignoring me or telling me to f**k off, she responded and gave me clear feedback on the situation.
Are we best buddies now? Probably not.
But I learned something about myself, and I made peace. (Which is a hell of a lot harder than “keeping” the peace, but that’s another blog post!)
Thank you for sticking with me these three weeks! If something you’ve read in these little stories has moved you (even if it’s to close this tab), please let me know in the comments!